screamingxeyes (screamingxeyes) wrote in cutmyvein,

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Yes, I'm Leah and I'm 16, and I've been cutting for 2 years.  I'm also trying to quit.

I'll put this in the cut because it's very descriptive about cutting.

Sometimes I just want to cry, I just want to feel the tears flowing down my face, I just want to feel the blade underneath my skin, as it drags through with ease, releasing it's blood.  I just feel so down, and I feel so alone.  I know I have people who love me. But when I get down like that, I don't know I just hate myself, and I truely believe that no one loves me, I try to change the way I feel, and remember it's not the bad.  But I just hate myself so much in those moments, I don't want to feel.  I just want to die.  But I can't kill myself.  I could never do it to my friends and family, so I cut myself, to supply momentary relief.  Just feeling my skin tearing apart, my veins splits and splurting out blood.  I don't know, it help some how.  Sometimes, I just want to cry, when I look at my life.

Also, I'm not sure, but I think I was molested when I was a child, and I think that is a big part of why I'm so deppressed.  Does anyone know how I can tell if i was?  I'm not sure if my mind is just making things up or not?

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